Funny Angel Quotes From The Buffy The Vampire Slayer Spin Off

In the realm of supernatural television series, few have captivated audiences and achieved cult status quite like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its beloved spin-off, Angel. Both shows, created by Joss Whedon, masterfully blended elements of horror, drama, and humour, offering viewers a thrilling and often humorous journey into the world of vampires, demons, and other mystical creatures. 

While Buffy the Vampire Slayer is widely renowned for its witty dialogue and quirky characters, Angel provided its fair share of comedic brilliance with its own unique brand of humour. 

Let's take a walk down memory lane and relive the hilarity of Angel through these unforgettable and funny quotes.

Angel: “There are three things I don't do: tan, date and sing in public”

Cordelia Chase: “So, um, are you still... 'Grrr'?”

Angel: “Yeah. There's not actually a cure for that.”

Charles Gunn: [referring hockey] “You realise this is the whitest sport known to man?”

Angel: “True. But the games are indoors and they usually play at night.”

Charles Gunn: “Got you.”

Angel: “I'm sorry, I nodded off. Did you get to the part where you're evil?”

Angel: “Stop calling me pastries!”

Allen Doyle: [phone rings, Doyle answers] “Angel Investigations. We hope you're helpless.”

Allen Doyle: “If you need help, then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best. Our rats are low…”

Cordelia Chase: “Rates!”

Allen Doyle: “It says rats... Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope, you need someone that you can count on. And that's what you'll find here. Someone who'll go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope. Come on over to our offices, and you'll see that there's still heroes in this world.'... Is that it? Am I done?”

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: “I'm a rogue demon hunter now.”

Cordelia Chase: “Wow. What's a rogue demon?”

Faith: “I gotta be the first slayer in history to be sponsored by a vampire.”

Angel: “Here's the plan: We go in, I start hitting people hard in the face, see where it takes us.”

Angel: “I've got two modes with people: bite and avoid.”

Angel: “I saw her, I'm not crazy.”

Wes: “Who?”

Angel: “Darla”

Wes: “Where?”

Angel: “Right between the clowns and the big talking hot dog.”

Angel: “I thought she was in a coma.”
Cordelia Chase: “Pretty lively coma.”

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: “It's the bodily excretion of an Ethros demon.”

Cordelia Chase: “No one could have said "demon poo" before I touched it?”

Lilah: "If you don't sign, we'll sue your ass off and kill your children. Just kidding, Donald. Nobody wants a lawsuit."

Angel: “Cordelia? Were we in love?”

Cordelia: “We were.”

Angel: “Fred! Good to see you out and about.”

Fred: “It is isn't it. Out and about. I've been forkin' with Gunn.”

Sahjhan: [after Fred hits him with a torch] “Do I look like I need more skin problems?”

Angel: “Go to hell.”

Jasmine: “You first, baby.”

[Forces Angel into a kiss.]

Connor: “Always the same, dad. I get a girl, you gotta make a play for her.”

[Jasmine lets up on the kissing.]

Angel: “Hey, nice sweater. Where'd you get it, Ed's Big & Spiny?”

Angel: “I do not have puppet cancer!”

Gunn: “So that's our big plan? Just keep running?”

Lorne: “Oh, I hear some good things about Belize!”

Angel: "If nothing that we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."

Angel: "Well, personally, I kinda want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work."

Angel: ”I saw their production of "Giselle" in 1890. I cried like a baby. And I was evil!”

Lorne: “I hate to be the little demon that cried "Apocalypse Nowish"

Groosalugg: [upon hearing Angel's cellphone] “Angel, your coat is singing.”

Connor: “What's a zombie?”

Angel: “It's an undead thing.”

Connor: “Like you?”

Angel: “No, zombies are slow-moving, dimwitted things that crave human flesh.”

Connor: “Like you.”

Gunn: “Now, instead of just worryin' about big bad rock-eater, we got Darth Vampire livin' in the basement.”

Lorne: “Tonight the Role of Judas Iscariot will be played by Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan.”

Fred: “You know what they say about payback? Well I'm the bitch.”

Angel, the Buffy The Vampire Slayer spin-off series not only held its own in terms of the supernatural drama and action but also delivered a healthy dose of humour to balance the darkness. The unforgettable characters and their comedic banter have kept fans cherishing the show long after its final episode aired.

Whether it's the wise cracks of Angel himself, the whimsical remarks of Lorne, or the witty retorts from the rest of the gang, these quotes continue to remind us why Angel remains a timeless and beloved addition to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe.

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